laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Holy sore nipples Batman
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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