Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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