So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
