Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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