gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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