oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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