if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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