Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
