thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
