Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
