I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
