I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
