Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
