The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
