I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think my moral compass just broke
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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