i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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