I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
