I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
