so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do vagina's smell?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
