Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
