I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
