we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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