The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
