I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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