Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
