We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The adults are the big ones right?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
