sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
