Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
