Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
