I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
