Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
