Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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