Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
