she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
