Non-Jews are for practice
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
