Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
