Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
