I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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