need another drink. this is the easiest way
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
