I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
