Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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