I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
