dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
