You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
