I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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