I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i already hear my dad disowning me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
