Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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