I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
