So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
