Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
