he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
