then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
