either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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