You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
