Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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